March 23, 2017
11:30 am
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This morning, I counted the weeks since I re-initiated my morning gym routine. Tomorrow marks the end of week 11. This realization is encouraging for me, since all week I have been feeling like I have had to strive extra hard just to get myself out the door, drive to gym, get on the cardio machines, then complete my weights. I've battled my depressive thinking, and all of the sinful urges to make excuses, and I have successfully dredged through that to land here, post-tuna-consumption, on my hiney, sharing my thoughts.
Week 11 is a milestone for me because the 16 months prior to these eleven weeks have been some of my most challenging, depressed months since 2013. I won't step on the scale for another few weeks to check on the quantifiable results of my efforts, but not focusing on the numbers is once again reminding me of the qualities which really count. Qualities like how much stronger and physically healthier I have started to feel, my muscles feel firm again (and they hadn't in well over a year), and also my desire to achieve has become drastically rejuvinated.
This morning, I forced myself out the door...I forced myself to complete one hour on the stationary bike...I forced myself to do my leg weight regime...I didn't have to force myself to eat my tuna (I love eating! Hahaha!), and afterwards, I drove home and got out of my car and I felt like the incredible hulk just walking from my car to my apartment door. But while I was riding that stationary bike, I was reflecting on some things, and wondering about other things. Things like: why was today so challenging and why did this week feel harder and more challenging than last week? Was it because of my menstrual cycle? Do menstruation and the hormones have this drastic of an impact on my motivation and energy levels? Of course they do! But why haven't I journalled and documented these symptoms for the past 25 years? I'm pretty certain I remember having these mental conversations with myself last month and the month before that, and maybe for the past few years of several consecutive months, so why was it that I didn't start documenting? Oh well, the why hasn't been answered, but it's past tense now anyways, so the only option which remains is to forge ahead with a goal to document with as much diligence and detail as possible. Apologies in advance if I bore anyone who happens to read this, but this is for my own personal medical, mental, physical, emotional reference!
How I felt before gym: Laggy, indigestion, and sluggish. Depression is a battle that today I doubted winning...and yet I perservered, so yay for me!
How I felt after gym: shaky (low blood sugar, perhaps?), physically strong, and rejuvinated, so excited that I did it!
Normally I eat eggs, red onion and spinach cooking in coconut oil for breakfast and my breakfast snack. This morning I ate granola with rice milk for my breakfast, then had tuna with dill weed and lemon juice for my post-workout snack. I will have to log my eating so I can have a reference for which foods affect my stamina and endurance as well.
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This morning, I counted the weeks since I re-initiated my morning gym routine. Tomorrow marks the end of week 11. This realization is encouraging for me, since all week I have been feeling like I have had to strive extra hard just to get myself out the door, drive to gym, get on the cardio machines, then complete my weights. I've battled my depressive thinking, and all of the sinful urges to make excuses, and I have successfully dredged through that to land here, post-tuna-consumption, on my hiney, sharing my thoughts.
Week 11 is a milestone for me because the 16 months prior to these eleven weeks have been some of my most challenging, depressed months since 2013. I won't step on the scale for another few weeks to check on the quantifiable results of my efforts, but not focusing on the numbers is once again reminding me of the qualities which really count. Qualities like how much stronger and physically healthier I have started to feel, my muscles feel firm again (and they hadn't in well over a year), and also my desire to achieve has become drastically rejuvinated.
This morning, I forced myself out the door...I forced myself to complete one hour on the stationary bike...I forced myself to do my leg weight regime...I didn't have to force myself to eat my tuna (I love eating! Hahaha!), and afterwards, I drove home and got out of my car and I felt like the incredible hulk just walking from my car to my apartment door. But while I was riding that stationary bike, I was reflecting on some things, and wondering about other things. Things like: why was today so challenging and why did this week feel harder and more challenging than last week? Was it because of my menstrual cycle? Do menstruation and the hormones have this drastic of an impact on my motivation and energy levels? Of course they do! But why haven't I journalled and documented these symptoms for the past 25 years? I'm pretty certain I remember having these mental conversations with myself last month and the month before that, and maybe for the past few years of several consecutive months, so why was it that I didn't start documenting? Oh well, the why hasn't been answered, but it's past tense now anyways, so the only option which remains is to forge ahead with a goal to document with as much diligence and detail as possible. Apologies in advance if I bore anyone who happens to read this, but this is for my own personal medical, mental, physical, emotional reference!
How I felt before gym: Laggy, indigestion, and sluggish. Depression is a battle that today I doubted winning...and yet I perservered, so yay for me!
How I felt after gym: shaky (low blood sugar, perhaps?), physically strong, and rejuvinated, so excited that I did it!
Normally I eat eggs, red onion and spinach cooking in coconut oil for breakfast and my breakfast snack. This morning I ate granola with rice milk for my breakfast, then had tuna with dill weed and lemon juice for my post-workout snack. I will have to log my eating so I can have a reference for which foods affect my stamina and endurance as well.
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